With tears rolling down my face…

*Dream One*:

There I was walking in the dark. Feeling lost, feeling so distance.
“Where am i?” I kept walking and I taught I was like in ‘Alice In Wonderland’….except there wasn’t a rabbit…or cards…or the cat smiling all the time and disappearing. I saw something in the distance, somehow i got scared. It was a figure…no…two figures. I could see it was two girls. One that looks like a kid and other was like a grown up woman. They walked toward me when i was astonished that there was names on their head like the game “Wonderland Online Game”. I looked up to read…I wish I didn’t. my heart sank immediatly when i saw their names….

Sakura_fox and Gurl_power … v.v *Names are hidden for a reason*

I stood there not moving and felt my legs weak. They where all so bright and smiling while I couldn’t smile. I looked away from them…

“Crazy…” Sakura_fox spoke. I turned my back at them feeling so damn scared.

“What?” I said.

“He is mine!” Sakura_fox said. I tried not to look at her but ended up moving my head to look at her. She had one of those evil grin smile.

“Who are you talking about?” How can I feel so damn weak from them? I’m not scared damn it! Gurl_power came infront of Sakura_fox and said.

“Who else do you think?” She smiled at Sakura_fox girly like and looked back at me. “Fenix. my dear. Apparently he loves me and Sakura_fox. So I loved him back” she looked back at me with those…evil eye looking. I looked away and suddenly I saw the figure…a tall…very tall figure. I looked down, too scared to face as I knew who it was…Fenix. I collapsed on my knees as I felt my tears falling…couldn’t breath well. I felt him passed by me…the noise of the shoes echoed in the dark. I looked behind me and saw him…he was all tall…but all dark. I couldn’t see his features….except those blue eyes shining more. I looked up at him like a little puppy scared for dear life. I looked at him carefully…with tears rolling down my face. He puts his arms around the girls waist. I looked down to let my tears fall on the ground…the black ground.

“Lets go dear” Sakura_fox said and the two girls giggled and walked with Fenix. I crawled on all four and tried to reach him.

“Fenix…” I whispered to him. I know he heard me…but he never looked at me. I bend my head down still my hand extending…hoping to have his hand touched mine. It never happened. I saw blood dripping…i stood up still on my knees and strangely there was a mirror. I looked at myself and saw on my chest…blood. I ripped my top off and could see the scar…that was left behind. It had almost healed but the scar reopened with so much pain. I was in so much pain. I watched my own blood flow down my chest down to the floor until i was surround by my own blood. The pain kept continuing, with ever beat of my heart pumping until there’s nothing left to pump. I extended my arm like wings with my head up looking up. I could see reflection…i was drowning in my own blood.”

I woke up abrutely…it was 4am. I was sweating and checked my chest quickly. There was nothing…no scar….but i had tears in my eyes…I didn’t like this dream…not one bit.

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1 Comment

  1. Heena said,

    December 2, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    It was winter early morning..eyes red of continuous crying.The winter breeze was soothing the redness. Walking on a slow pace…all the moments with him, played in my mind…the first hug, listening to his heartbeats, the warmth of his arms around, first kiss, the feel of his lips on mine…first time we laughed together, first time we shared a naughty joke, first time we discussed about general stuff and ended up in argument…and the days we were together. Time flew then.Now it seems even clock is lazy in ticking.Seconds don’t pass, minutes don’t end, hours just stay…amongst them only one thing maintained its speed…tears from my eyes…I sat on a bench and wait for people to come out for their jog, a reason so that I don’t cry.
    And I see a figure, relieved I wipe my tears but my eyes welled up with tears again.He was far, but not so far that I don’t recognize his frame.He crossed me and went away.His back getting smaller and smaller.I didn’t exist for him anymore.I could see him moving on…but I was still there with extended hand…not waiting for him to hold it.But to at least give me back a part of me, my heart, that he still has with him.My body feeling the emptiness and I dreading the loneliness.
    It cant be reality…such a painful moment can only be a dream and I pinched myself…it was not.I started walking in opposite direction still with tears in my eyes and immense pain of love…yes love hurts.And first love hurts even more.


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