painting the dream…


Date: Sunday 1, February 2008.

Time: 12am – 8am.


Atmosphere: Preparation

Mood: Happy and sad

Objects and symbols: Family gathered around. Outside in a park. Malaysia.

Journey or Travels: None

Color and Conversation: natural light of the day.  Family gossip

Previous Associations: None

I was standing with the extended family of my father talking happily and sharing memories.  Papa was there, looking so young (Nairobi, Kenya.  Black beard, thin) We where laughing along with the extended family.  Shantee was there, and other family members.  I saw Papa crying.  It was as if we where preparing him.  To at least see us for the last time, having the last memories, sharing them with him and laughing. Looking at old photos and being with the family.  Nana wasn’t there…  I knew exactly what would happen.  Then came my sister with the children and dancing happily like she always did for the last time for my father.  I knew it would b soon my turn to perform for papa.  When it was my time with the children of the family members, I looked up and papa wasn’t there anymore.  I looked around panicking, everyone left.  I was alone with the children.  I looked at the edge of the hill and there he was, Papa looking beyond the horizon.  I could see the light shining directly at him.  It wasn’t the sun; it was a different light with red, blue and some white/yellow surrounding him.  I quickly ran to him calling his name.

“Papa! Wait!” I reached him and I looked at him but he was showing me his back.  He slowly turned around and looked at me.  “Papa you can’t leave now. I haven’t performed mine yet.”  The wind kicked in and I looked around as the leaves where swiped away.

“I’m sorry I won’t be here for you, Amelia.” Papa said.  I looked at him desperately for him to stay.  I couldn’t speak.  “Even though I was there for Annabelle and Adrian, I’m sorry I won’t be here to help you and pass my experience to you.  I know it was early, but it was time for me to go.  I feel so much in peace…”

“But what about mama? How can she deal with this? Its too sudden! I have to call her to at least say goodbye…” I yelled as the wind kicked in more.  It was hard to hear each other.

“Don’t.  She will know.  Even though she never had the chance to say goodbye, I’m still with her in her dreams and in her heart.”

“Papa please! Stay with us! Can’t they wait? We need you!” I yelled.

“You don’t need me.  I’ve done my mission.  Its time for me to go Amelia.  I know you can put the family together.  I know your never selfish, and always thinking of others then yourself.  Mama needs this from you.  I’ll be in her dreams even though won’t remember much of it.  I’ll give her some signs that everything will be ok.” His voice was very echoing all of a sudden.  I tried to touch him, but he backed away and walked into the light slowly.  As he disappeared, I quickly ran toward the light, but I end up flying off the cliff and going down down down.  Then I heard my name. “AMELIE!” It was mama, calling my name. I looked up to see her on the edge. “NON! Revien.” Then I woke up in real, I could feel my heart beating so hard on my chest and finally whispered to myself “Papa…”

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