There i was, caressing my dog, carefully on the head. Making sure to caress him with care and love.
“You know, you need to prepare yourself. He is after all old. All these things he is having is normal in ageing. Just want you to be prepared…”
Tears started to build in my eyes. I quickly blinked and looked away, still caressing his head gently. I breath hard to let out my stress. Somehow my dog knew, he looked up at me, looking straight at my eyes. I looked back.
“What?” I kept looking at him and he didn’t take his eyes off me. Until I had no more tears building up, he looked down again and put his head on my lap. I smiled at him. He didn’t want me to cry for him…But i couldn’t help it. Every time I think of living without him, will be so hard…just like how I lost my father. Another lost for me to deal with…when it will be a year since my father passed away. But yes, he is getting old. Age 11 soon on January 12th ’10. Seems he is around 64yld old human age, which is concidered pretty old for a large breed. I guess it is, at least he lived thru the old age, and not end his life in an accident.
I looked up hearing all weird birds singing.
“Birds! bird!” I said to my dog. He didn’t even twitched his ears. He didn’t seem to care. He only wanted me to be with him. Since he kept whinning whenever i started leaving him alone. His right back leg isn’t working too well. Might have injured himself, but doesn’t seem to be able to place it well though. He had always had a hip problem, common in German Shepherd pure breed.
Took him to the vet recently. As always, he loved the car, but in the clinic he starts panicing and pulls me toward the exit door. Jeeez 😀 Ah I don’t blame him. If I was going to the dentist, I would be doing the same thing 🙂 or rather just hide somewhere in the house and never be found. LOL…
We won’t be putting him down. Thats something i’m very against and he isn’t in pain. I want him to move on as natural as possible. Of course he has medication to ease the pain and all, not sure if he is but just to make his back leg less painful i supposed. Giving him vitamins and all, just want him to be confortable and have a peaceful time. I still bother him and he still loves it 😀 at least its still him.
Gonna really miss him, thats for sure. Hoping to get another german shepherd mixed. But not yet, until we heal from his passing. Might even get one when we are in Canada…not sure yet. Thinking of getting a cat, here in malaysia but not sure…just gotta see…first.
Or else nothing much has been happening… just a bit lost here and there and emo-ing a lot as always…