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Reference

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Deviantart selling

$2.49 4 × 8 inches 10 × 20 cm

$2.49  4 × 8 inches 10 × 20 cm

Product on sale

Hi,

Just taught to let most people know that now i’m selling my product online 😀 yay.

www.zazzle.com/crazygirlclub

Mug

I sell all sorts; Keychain, prints, mouse pad, and many others are coming 🙂 Make sure you keep on checking.

Cheers 😀

Some new stuff

Points!Been going on and on and stepped on this thing that is just awesome 😀 only if you play one of those and well ya, if i enjoy it i’m sure you will too. I hope you will enjoy 🙂 check it out 😀

free lindens

Getting old…

There i was, caressing my dog, carefully on the head. Making sure to caress him with care and love.

“You know, you need to prepare yourself. He is after all old. All these things he is having is normal in ageing. Just want you to be prepared…”
Tears started to build in my eyes.  I quickly blinked and looked away, still caressing his head gently.  I breath hard to let out my stress.  Somehow my dog knew, he looked up at me, looking straight at my eyes.  I looked back.

“What?” I kept looking at him and he didn’t take his eyes off me.  Until I had no more tears building up, he looked down again and put his head on my lap.  I smiled at him.  He didn’t want me to cry for him…But i couldn’t help it.  Every time I think of living without him, will be so hard…just like how I lost my father.  Another lost for me to deal with…when it will be a year since my father passed away.  But yes, he is getting old.  Age 11 soon on January 12th ’10.  Seems he is around 64yld old human age, which is concidered pretty old for a large breed.  I guess it is, at least he lived thru the old age, and not end his life in an accident.

I looked up hearing all weird birds singing.

“Birds! bird!” I said to my dog.  He didn’t even twitched his ears.  He didn’t seem to care.  He only wanted me to be with him.  Since he kept whinning whenever i started leaving him alone.  His right back leg isn’t working too well.  Might have injured himself, but doesn’t seem to be able to place it well though.  He had always had a hip problem, common in German Shepherd pure breed.

Took him to the vet recently.  As always, he loved the car, but in the clinic he starts panicing and pulls me toward the exit door.  Jeeez 😀 Ah I don’t blame him.  If I was going to the dentist, I would be doing the same thing 🙂 or rather just hide somewhere in the house and never be found. LOL…

We won’t be putting him down.  Thats something i’m very against and he isn’t in pain.  I want him to move on as natural as possible.  Of course he has medication to ease the pain and all, not sure if he is but just to make his back leg less painful i supposed.  Giving him vitamins and all, just want him to be confortable and have a peaceful time.  I still bother him and he still loves it 😀 at least its still him.

Gonna really miss him, thats for sure.  Hoping to get another german shepherd mixed.  But not yet, until we heal from his passing.  Might even get one when we are in Canada…not sure yet. Thinking of getting a cat, here in malaysia but not sure…just gotta see…first.

Or else nothing much has been happening… just a bit lost here and there and emo-ing a lot as always…

Cheers XD

This is a game which i’m playing at the moment to kill time. hope u can look at it and download it. seriously its really awesome and cute x3 really love the graphic.

Enjoy 🙂

painting the dream…

Dream1

Date: Sunday 1, February 2008.

Time: 12am – 8am.

Number:

Atmosphere: Preparation

Mood: Happy and sad

Objects and symbols: Family gathered around. Outside in a park. Malaysia.

Journey or Travels: None

Color and Conversation: natural light of the day.  Family gossip

Previous Associations: None

I was standing with the extended family of my father talking happily and sharing memories.  Papa was there, looking so young (Nairobi, Kenya.  Black beard, thin) We where laughing along with the extended family.  Shantee was there, and other family members.  I saw Papa crying.  It was as if we where preparing him.  To at least see us for the last time, having the last memories, sharing them with him and laughing. Looking at old photos and being with the family.  Nana wasn’t there…  I knew exactly what would happen.  Then came my sister with the children and dancing happily like she always did for the last time for my father.  I knew it would b soon my turn to perform for papa.  When it was my time with the children of the family members, I looked up and papa wasn’t there anymore.  I looked around panicking, everyone left.  I was alone with the children.  I looked at the edge of the hill and there he was, Papa looking beyond the horizon.  I could see the light shining directly at him.  It wasn’t the sun; it was a different light with red, blue and some white/yellow surrounding him.  I quickly ran to him calling his name.

“Papa! Wait!” I reached him and I looked at him but he was showing me his back.  He slowly turned around and looked at me.  “Papa you can’t leave now. I haven’t performed mine yet.”  The wind kicked in and I looked around as the leaves where swiped away.

“I’m sorry I won’t be here for you, Amelia.” Papa said.  I looked at him desperately for him to stay.  I couldn’t speak.  “Even though I was there for Annabelle and Adrian, I’m sorry I won’t be here to help you and pass my experience to you.  I know it was early, but it was time for me to go.  I feel so much in peace…”

“But what about mama? How can she deal with this? Its too sudden! I have to call her to at least say goodbye…” I yelled as the wind kicked in more.  It was hard to hear each other.

“Don’t.  She will know.  Even though she never had the chance to say goodbye, I’m still with her in her dreams and in her heart.”

“Papa please! Stay with us! Can’t they wait? We need you!” I yelled.

“You don’t need me.  I’ve done my mission.  Its time for me to go Amelia.  I know you can put the family together.  I know your never selfish, and always thinking of others then yourself.  Mama needs this from you.  I’ll be in her dreams even though won’t remember much of it.  I’ll give her some signs that everything will be ok.” His voice was very echoing all of a sudden.  I tried to touch him, but he backed away and walked into the light slowly.  As he disappeared, I quickly ran toward the light, but I end up flying off the cliff and going down down down.  Then I heard my name. “AMELIE!” It was mama, calling my name. I looked up to see her on the edge. “NON! Revien.” Then I woke up in real, I could feel my heart beating so hard on my chest and finally whispered to myself “Papa…”

With tears rolling down my face…

*Dream One*:

There I was walking in the dark. Feeling lost, feeling so distance.
“Where am i?” I kept walking and I taught I was like in ‘Alice In Wonderland’….except there wasn’t a rabbit…or cards…or the cat smiling all the time and disappearing. I saw something in the distance, somehow i got scared. It was a figure…no…two figures. I could see it was two girls. One that looks like a kid and other was like a grown up woman. They walked toward me when i was astonished that there was names on their head like the game “Wonderland Online Game”. I looked up to read…I wish I didn’t. my heart sank immediatly when i saw their names….

Sakura_fox and Gurl_power … v.v *Names are hidden for a reason*

I stood there not moving and felt my legs weak. They where all so bright and smiling while I couldn’t smile. I looked away from them…

“Crazy…” Sakura_fox spoke. I turned my back at them feeling so damn scared.

“What?” I said.

“He is mine!” Sakura_fox said. I tried not to look at her but ended up moving my head to look at her. She had one of those evil grin smile.

“Who are you talking about?” How can I feel so damn weak from them? I’m not scared damn it! Gurl_power came infront of Sakura_fox and said.

“Who else do you think?” She smiled at Sakura_fox girly like and looked back at me. “Fenix. my dear. Apparently he loves me and Sakura_fox. So I loved him back” she looked back at me with those…evil eye looking. I looked away and suddenly I saw the figure…a tall…very tall figure. I looked down, too scared to face as I knew who it was…Fenix. I collapsed on my knees as I felt my tears falling…couldn’t breath well. I felt him passed by me…the noise of the shoes echoed in the dark. I looked behind me and saw him…he was all tall…but all dark. I couldn’t see his features….except those blue eyes shining more. I looked up at him like a little puppy scared for dear life. I looked at him carefully…with tears rolling down my face. He puts his arms around the girls waist. I looked down to let my tears fall on the ground…the black ground.

“Lets go dear” Sakura_fox said and the two girls giggled and walked with Fenix. I crawled on all four and tried to reach him.

“Fenix…” I whispered to him. I know he heard me…but he never looked at me. I bend my head down still my hand extending…hoping to have his hand touched mine. It never happened. I saw blood dripping…i stood up still on my knees and strangely there was a mirror. I looked at myself and saw on my chest…blood. I ripped my top off and could see the scar…that was left behind. It had almost healed but the scar reopened with so much pain. I was in so much pain. I watched my own blood flow down my chest down to the floor until i was surround by my own blood. The pain kept continuing, with ever beat of my heart pumping until there’s nothing left to pump. I extended my arm like wings with my head up looking up. I could see reflection…i was drowning in my own blood.”

I woke up abrutely…it was 4am. I was sweating and checked my chest quickly. There was nothing…no scar….but i had tears in my eyes…I didn’t like this dream…not one bit.

Man on a mission – Malay Mail

David Lazaruslife was a quest.

As a journalist he wanted to be among the best and later on, as a staff of the United Nations (UN), he worked to gain a deeper understanding of the meaning of life.

An ex-journalist with the New Straits Times, he was a much-loved figure at the Balai Berita newsroom and also on the newsroom of the now defunct Asiaweek. He also wrote for newspapers in Montreal and London.

A modest person of integrity, he was justly proud of his contribution to the world body, which he served for 19 years until he retired in July and returned to Malaysia.

He was in the process of setting up home in Jalan Ampang when he suddenly collapsed and died on Oct 12, aged 59.

Born to middle income parents in Kuala Lumpur on April 2, 1949, David Selvanayagam Lazarus was seven when his father Ephraim Raj Lazarus, a health inspector, died of a heart-attack at 42.

His mother, the former Polly Pakiam Paul, a Singapore nurse, brought David up under difficult and challenging times, but instilled in him the right values that were to stand him in good stead in adulthood.

Following his early education at the Bukit Bintang Boys School, David finished Form Five at the Methodist Boys before joining the New Straits Times as a cub reporter.

He never attended university but thirsted for knowledge and having a photographic memory, devoured vast traces of literature, which he would and could quote verbatim.

Six-foot and inexhaustibly energetic, David rose fast to become editor of the supplements desk. He also wrote with knowledge and affection about travelling cheap under the column “Life in a Suitcase”.

Yet, nothing pleased him more on a long day than to sit in the then smoke-filled newsroom discussing possible topics to fill his supplementary pages.

His travels took him on snap journalistic lecture tours to Europe. Well-read and travelled, he also had friends and colleagues in countries far and wide, between Tibet and Turkey, Egypt and South Africa, Brazil, Mexico, United States and Antigua.

Travelling on one such trip to Vienna in 1972, he befriended Patricia Poggi, a French undergraduate majoring in literature at the McGill University in Montreal, Canada, who was introduced by mutual friends.

After an exchange of pleasantries, they developed a growing friendship that brought them together in marriage two years later at the Kuala Lumpur West Methodist Church on Jan 26, 1974.

“I was immediately fascinated by his humanity and kindness. Normally young men his age were quite self-centred and arrogant, but here was a down-to-earth man who was very gentle and kind. This was perhaps more than anything else that drew me to him,” recalled Patricia, the daughter of a French navigating officer in Marseilles, France, who has since settled in Malaysia.

They had three children — two girls Annabelle and Amelia, and a son Adrian. She also helped him out with his French lessons and made him reasonably good in the language.

Joining the UN in the late 1980s, he was the environment programme co-ordinator in Nairobi, Kenya. He went on to become chief of information services in Bangkok in 1993. It was then that he pursued a Masters degree in mass communications. He also had a big hand in securing UN support for the then fledgling organisation, the Asia-Pacific Forum for Environmental Journalists.

His last posting was as director of Information at the United Nations Information Centre in Jakarta.

David brought to his administrative tasks the precision, patience and human understanding that was the stamp for much of his work with the world body.

It was also here that he showed his administrative talents matched his journalistic abilities.

David was particularly happy in his family life. He was jovial and witty with an apparently voracious appetite for books, the theatre, classical music, the opera, good food and drinks, particularly gin-tonic which he enjoyed with a double lime.

Malay Mail. Thursday 30th October 2008

Moving Out

 

For the moment, i’m packing to go to malaysia. It will be a huge change for me going to malaysia. It will be a hard life but starting a new life there too, ’cause i just lost everything in Thailand. There is no reason for me to stay there. I was left out, as usual. What else is new? Its always the same thing everytime. But for the moment, i just need to focus on things that needs to be done, like…making sure there are some chocolates inside my bag to remind me of certain friends for the last time before i leave. Only one friend will be able to see me go. I had wish at least three friends, but it came down too 1. Its a lot of losse too but there is nothing i can do now. Their mind has made up about me. A untruth worthy friend that is not worth hanging out with and/or see me go away. I don’t mean anything to them, after what i have done for them, cared, shared. all i had left was tears rolling down from my face. Tears of betrayal which my heart aches everytime it beats. I have lived this many times, and yet i am still here. Why do i keep on living? Why can’t i end there? I guess ending everything is easy then just keep going. I hope for all the best to my friends as the last words i want to reach out too. Those painful words that you’ve all said to me, probably will stay with me for a while until i have learned my lessons. I’ll probably don’t deserve anyone anymore in the future. Nothing in common and never will. *sigh* those will be my last goodbye to you all, as i will pass away soon and I won’t even exist anymore, in your world…

Adieu mes amis.

 

 

Tap, Tap, Bang… o.O

Stars: 3

Moon: Quarter.

uch!” Before I realized what hit me, it was my dog. -.-” My dog is always in the middle of where I walk the most. I guess he wants to be stepped on it like a carpet. As i walked, zoinked out of my bed, i realized it was still dark outside. Thinking it was around 5 am Bangkok Time, I was wrong. It was 1 am.

“Oh Gawd!!” So I dragged my whole body up and hurry quickly to the toilet. Why did i need to go to the toilet so much all of a sudden?! Oh right, i drank too much liquid yesterday night. Dang it! I should have not.

As i finished, i walked back in to my room, but i quickly stopped. I know there is something…furry…in there…waiting to trip me…again. You guess it right…my dog! Whenever I am up in the middle of the night and i go out of my room and come back after 1 minutes, my dog always has to be near to the door where I surely will trip! I have a feeling that my dog is getting much more smarter while he is getting much much older. Strange canine they are sometimes.

So i went to check if he was around in my room or even moved anywhere. I didn’t bother to switch on the lights. I surely will be blind and probably see spots before my eyes. Anyways, so i struggle to drag my body to the bed…ZzZzZzZz. Then came the alarm, 6 am.

“Let me sleep will ya!” I shut off my phone and went to sleep. It seems a second when i woke up. I was still tired but when i looked up to see the time…it was…it…its….

“9 AM!!!!! OH F!!!!!! no way nooooooooo way!” I got up quickly, though my head was spinning violently. I dragged my dog out of my room and quickly ate my tiny breakfast. My head is going through one of those, “bad hair days” type of thing.

Why didn’t mom wake me up! she knows I hate to wake up so late! My day is ruined! Then I started hitting the spoon on my forehead. I haven’t realized until my mom interrupted me.

“What are you doing?” She says walking up the stairs and stairing at me strangely.

“Oh nothing…i think” I mumbled. I was pretty angry with the world. Why does time has to be so…quick. Why can’t we go slower?! Why does everything has to be in a rush. I hate it when I have to rush suddenly. I like to take my time, for instance…eating. I’m always the last person at the table to finish. Always have been though. The reason? Well…

Remembering to always enjoy every bite and shewing you have in your mouth because you will never know when you will ever get that same taste again. – From my father. He told us this when we where in Nairobi, Kenya. I was probably 5yld and i still remembered!!!

So from then, i have been such a slow person, but that didn’t bother me ’cause i didn’t care much of what other people said about me being slow. I let them talk, but I’ll never let them make me change my mind. They have no idea how precious this lesson was and I DO enjoy every meal and every bite i take that i never felt…regretting. It always made me to move “Forward” in life.  So, i layed there waiting for something to happened when i felt something was sniffing near to my face.

  “AAAAHHHH!” i woke up suddenly when i realized it was my dog sniffing at me.  –.–”

  “Whats going on up there?!” My mom yelled from downstairs.

  “Oh nothing, Akela just scared me!” I petted my dog and took him out.  As usually, he was pulling hard ’cause i was too slow for him. 

2:00PM.

Tap.

  I looked behind me and thinking what was that noise.  I was watching my usual favorite channel, CARTOON! 😀

TAP!

  I looked behind again and what was doing that sort of noise every time.  As i turned around…

Tap…

  “Amelia! Stop banging the windows!!!” I stay astonished that i was to blame with that mysterious tap thingy. 

  “But i didn’t do anything!!! its the windows that are making noises!!!” I bet she whispered something like ‘Yeah whatever’ and just walked away.  Why am I the one to blame for everything?!?!? Cheeze, so I went to investigate.  I walked outside on the balcony and waited for that sound to come.  Waiting…still waiting…after 15 minutes i saw something coming toward me.  I taught it was a small bird when i suddenly realized it was a pigeon coming toward me.  I quickly tucked down, unfortunatly it hit me and gave me some few slaps here and there with its wings.  Thanks for THAT!!!!!!  Don’t ask why birds are suddenly going toward the windows instead of the sky.  It has been happening for months and still they are going toward the windows.  Could it be…”The Happening?” Just to think about it..gives me the goosebumps!!! 

I’ll investigate more…Adios amigos!!!!!! 😀 

Hair removal horror story!

Must read to the end …. best laugh of the week !!!!

I laughed till tears came….Take a moment and read this…if you don’t laugh you do not have a pulse. Seriously read it – You’ll definitely laugh out loud!!!All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal – The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now…the wax. Read on…

Read the rest of this entry »

SaDingding ~~~~ Alive

A mixed chinese, Tibetian tradtion music along with modern music! Fantastic!!!!!!

http://www.sadingding.co.uk/

`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._While Your Lips Are Still Red

Stars: 18 – 1 = 17. One shined but disappeared as i looked up into the sky. I was hopping to see a shooting star as i did previously last year. But unfortunatly, i have not seen any.

Moon: Half and shining more then her children.

¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨¯¨´*·~-.¸¸,.-~*´¨

So, today we had a lunch party. As usual, my dog had to go crazy and barks at people, oh well, can’t do much with these dogs. But still love him madly. It was quite good and fun…i think. Most of my friends are out of town because of Songkran.

3:30 pm — After the lunch, something hit me by emotions. I all a sudden wanted to cry and cry and run away from this whole thing. I have always wanted to live in a countryside and/or a desert place in which no one is involve accept yourself.

air, air…i need air.

As i stormed out of the place, i looked into the horizon. It wasn’t such a nice day at all. No sun could shine through the thick clouds, it makes the day such a gloomy and bad hair day sort of feeling.

scream…just scream until you do not have anymore to scream about.

What the heck is going on?! Why was i feeling like crying and there was no reason. This is ridiculous.

Its not ridiculous you idiot! You know something is missing don’t you?

Ooookayyy, now i am sure i have gone crazy ’cause now my mind is talking to me….

i ain’t no mind! i am your conscious voice talking to you.

Oh shut up! Let me think will ya!…what is missing?

isn’t it going to be Songkran soon?

Yes. Whats your point?

You do not have any friends to hang out with…

….

Don’t you remember? They are all gone out of town. One is in HongKong and one is not even talking to you, after what you did to her, you probably deserve this treatement…

Get off!

Hey, at least face the truth dude. You can’t hide forever. Soon or later, you will be left alone once again and have to start from scratch…

At that point, i ran toward my room. My parents probably taught what the heck has happened to me. i just stayed hours and hours in my room. My eyes where watery. I tried to wipe them off…

But it keeps on coming back. The damage is already done…

Will you quit that! OMG…people might think that i have gone crazy talking to my own mind…or maybe insane, either way…its not coming from earth. This is crazy…how i ended up not doing anything on Songkran?! I usually go out and have fun, get all wet with cold water and just being in the culture…but somehow this year…it won’t be the same…But its true, i somehow feel…empty. There is nothing left for me here in Thailand. I am in such a mess that the only way to clean up is to leave the country.

Now you understand. Took you a while eh…

Then this guy name Chris, a very long old friend started talking with me in msn. At least i had other friends in other countries that are willing to talk with me…

Even though he is far away to reach, he is always online…

oi! thats non of your business so get off in there. Anyways, ignore that. So yea, he send me some few really really really kewl music in which i will be posting in this blog from youtube. Its from the Nightwish a heavy mental band. Chris sent me a song in which he just…brightened my day. Just this song, made me feel so much better and happy. The lyrics are so…gentle and so…carefully used. Its so amazing how Nightwish can use the words so…beautifully. It got me crying with happiness. Its just like a miracle and now i can’t stop listening to this music which is a good thing, as it gets my mood meter up and up toward the good side.

So that is all for now. Please, enjoy the music and would very much say thanks to Chris to have made me listen to this music and to have brightened my day…

Sweet little words made for silence
Not talk
Young heart for love
Not heartache
Dark hair for catching the wind
Not to veil the sight of a cold world

Kiss, while your lips are still red
While he’s still silent
Rest, while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand
While the hand’s still without a tool
Drown into eyes, while they’re still blind
Love, while the night still hides
The withering dawn

First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour’s never a wasted one
The violin, the poet’s hand,
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Immigration + Other ….

So…before i begin my adventure, just wanted to say, that really really sorry for not writing at all! I am such a…lazy person. .

Anyways, to start my adventure, I went to the Thai immigration which is on SuanPlu, Bangkok Thailand. I needed to extend my Stoodent Visa for a year which cost 1,900B!!! So its very very expensive for foreigners which doesn’t win that much money! T.T ….. Its a miserable place sometimes!!! XD (X = the eyes squishing together, D = the mouth laughting…just turn your head to the left 3 o’clock!!) oh well… I will be soon be going to Malaysia. Gets me sad though to leave my childhood memory behind! sniff sniff. Oh well, nothing is perfect in life…perfect…mmm…a strange word to be using.

So, I had a view problem with my computa…actually my laptop. The CD-DRIVE is erm…not working properly. It keeps on spinning…then stop…spins…stops and so on. How annoying is that?! espacially when burning stuff out! It goes well then when it has 5:00 – 10:00 minutes to burn, it just…STOPS!!!
How frustrating is that?!?! i mean it takes at least 20:00 mins in all…but waiting for it to burn everything and you end up not having a finished disk.

Oh well, as i said, nothing is perfect… I hate using that word!!! >.< Perfect…bah…gives me goosebumps…that reminds me…maybe i should make myself some bloody mary drink..no wait…maybe JimBeam is better…wait wait wait…let me think. *Thinking*…*still Thinking* oh well…i’ll find something…

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