Lonely…Time and Time again

Life has been difficult for me. Because I am moving back to my own home country, leaving my childhood memory will be…hard to let it go. How can I live in such a condition like that?! For some reason, i have difficulty to cope with that. Can’t remember much anymore. How life can be so cruel like that.

Dream One:
Running toward the cupboard. I could only find clothes of the same thing. They where all the same. Nothing has changed and nothing is new. It was all the same. I turned around and see that everything is neat in my room.
“Eh” I said, wondering where i was. It wasn’t the place i live. Even though the places of the stuffs are correct, the view outside wasn’t.
“Its snowing?!” I said out loud. I went running toward the window and it was indeed snowing. “How can it snow in Bangkok?! Since when?!”
“Since you left us” I turned around and saw my friend, Gail.
“Left you?” I said looking around me. She wasn’t alone. There was someone else with her. It was Thomas, a long lost friend i knew a long time ago.
“Yes, you left us thinking that everything you did for us, was a lie” Thomas said. I was shocked, i could feel my heart was racing.
“What do you mean?” I looked around and i could see blood flowing down from my room. I looked outside and it was snowing heavily and was pilling quickly.
“I don’t want to have anything to do with you” Gail looked at me like i have ever seen before. She was very angry and she had smoke coming out of her ears. She was a devil along with Thomas.
“I don’t know what you are talking about!” I cried my head off and dropped on my knees and buried my face between them.
“We are here to give you hell” Thomas said, approaching me with his huge fork which was on fire.
“Why? What did I do?” I saw the window was cover in snow. We where buried.
“Because your parents has told us it will teach you a lesson to do such things to your friends.” Thomas said.
“My parents?!” I was very confused, but Gail did not leave her eyes off mine.
“You parents agreed to a deal. In order for them to survive, we needed to kill. So they picked you.” Gail said pointing her fork toward me. I could feel it was burning hot.
“Farewell, we shall meet in hell then.” Thomas and Gail raised their fork and …….
**********************************************************************
I suddenly woke up with my heart racing. What the heck was that dream about?!

Noel + New Year

Just wanted to say happy new year to you all! My parents came down for christmas and New year. It was great to have them again in the house. But it was strange to have the whole family back here…everyone is on top of each other. Anyways, i still haven’t adjusted of he house being full + the fridge! The place is very christmasy as we are Christians! So we take this christmas pretty serious! We love christmas and all the decorations!

I think christmas a beautiful thing to celebrate! It brings joy to the world, to the family, among each other, friends, cousins, long lost friends.

Christmas makes me very happy! To celebrate with friends, family. What more would you want? Its just a joyful thing to have in life…but sometimes…i wonder…about other people out there…who doesn’t know how important it is to be with families! Or they don’t have….

Wishing you all a Happy New Year 2008!

Gays

Why is it that all cute guys are gay? Why are all good men become gay? sniff sniff…all the great and handsome guys are taken! T^T There are only nerdy guys left for girls. How is it that we girls, deserve this treatment? mmmmmm……..why don’t i go and ask GOD! ^.^

I love gay stories. I dunno why, but i love to read gay comics + books + a story about them. lol….i am a gay addic even though i am not myself (ain’t a transsexual either!). Its just that, they are sooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!! But also, whenever you think about love, and i see two guys together, there is a strong bond and true love in there. Nowdays, non-gays guys thinks everything is gay. movie series are gay, riding a bike with other guys is gay. Playing certain games is gay. Wearing certain clothes is gay…i mean…thats sooo unmanly of them to say that!!!!!!

I love parts that are extreme exotic. I am a person that love bodies. Its my passion, as when i see a body, i see a piece of art. Thats why i collect body pictures in Deviantart. Because the positions is in such a beautiful way that you see it in a whole different way. Its a beautiful living thing we got!

 

People who don’t like exotic look, then thats your choice! No one is forcing you to look at a naked body if you don’t feel comfortable. But at least, don’t get the wrong picture that the body is a tool (For instance – Porno’s)…’cause its not!

Think about it!

 

 

News, News, News

This image was made by skittlekitten12.

So yeah, i am BACK to writing! Sorry if i haven’t been very much of an entertainment at the moment but been busy with work as usual! What else is new?! Anyways, at the moment i am currently volunteering at a SoiCat&Dog rescue (SCAD) Here in thailand. At least i am doing what i love to do most, help animals (stray) to get a better home! Soooo, its GREAT so be helping and whenever i come back home, i just can’t wait to go back again!

oh and also can’t wait for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

Americans are NOT stupid – WITH SUBTITLES

Thank goodness i am not American, i am not living there, and i am NOT one of them.

The real truth and FACE the truth

 

 

Face the real world

Its been a while i haven’t written anything on my blog. Been bored STIFF with life. Its like, someone is replaying it over and over again.

Then it got me thinking, what if its like “The island” movie? What if we think that we live in a real world, but actually this is just been planned! I mean yeah…people has been traveling to space, but that might be planned too! i just feel, that this is not the meaning of “life”. To have rules and restriction of everything! its too strict and in the end, there is no freedom to do anything! When i dropped off my sister at the airport, i saw the airplane, might have been AirFrance airline, landing. And I was just looking at it very carefully, and for just a deco-second, i really taught i saw it through it!! It was like as if it was invisible and then it reappeared again!!All this not even a second! I turned to my sister and opened my mouth to tell her, but no word came out! I shut my mouth and tried to remember what i just saw. Could this be true? Are we living in a virtual world? Is all this a game or a re-make of life? If i tell me sister, she might think i have gone a little crazy. Yeah…but thats my middle name! 😛

I shook my head and continued driving until i dropped off my sister. She was in a extremely bad mood as the people at the hotel did not prepare her three important visa for her to give at the Thai embassy in Malaysia! And now i made it worse by losing the key of the luggage! I felt really bad as i made her day ever worse! argh.

So when i drove back, (oh and this was around 6:50pm Asia time) i kept on thinking where did i put that key! it was soooo tiny that it might have slipped off my sweaty hand. Oh i hate this sooooooo much! when taking responsibility of something and you lose it, it feels extremely bad! I was feeling really down. Anyways, when i was driving back home, I was thinking way too much about the key situation that i tried to retrace my steps. So i could see myself walking in the car park and trying to remember how did i lose it. Trying to retrace my step, i remembered every single car and brand, and our car parked all the way at the end! As i got near, i opened the door and remembered that my sister left something on her luggage and wanted me to put it inside her toilet bag! So i did, and then remembering the lock, i have put the key in my phone bag. Later on, on the way to the airport, i told my sister that i put it in my phone bag and she didn’t find it! My heart skipped a beat, so i retrace my step over again…and again…and again.

Then suddenly a hug noise came behind me and i was actually on the road driving?! i realized that i was sliding toward the fast lane (to the right side) and i took the stirring wheel and stirred it violently toward the left middle lane and tried to gain controlled again. I was in shock. In a terrible shock. I was in a illusion! This whole retracing steps…it was an illusion! i didn’t feel that i was on the road…! o.O….sometime, with the problem i have…i scare myself a lot. I quickly put my two arrow lights and slowed down toward the slower lane (left side). Thank god there weren’t any cars around on the highway. But i could see, in my middle mirror, that the car might have seen what happened, ’cause he started to slow down and was getting farther behind me! I felt really bad. I stopped quickly and tried to catch my breath! I didn’t have any music on…maybe thats why i was in an illusions. This has never happened to me before! I hope it won’t ever again! I’ve got to get over it! So…i decided to put either Punk/Heavy mental/ or anything to make me snap out of it!

When i arrived home, i took my dog out! Oh i miss him sooo much, and he started to lick me everywhere, wagging his tail like a maniac, as if he hasn’t seen me for years! ^.^ At least there is someone waiting for me at home! It was very cold in the night. At least 18 degrees. Its winter here in bangkok. We are getting the winter + the wind from China. I’m sure going to miss Thailand ONLY for this good weather 😛

Anyways, after walking my dog, i called my friend of what happened. She was shocked too! I needed to tell someone about it. I can’t stand not to tell what happened! And i am not too good in keeping it for myself…i am not that greedy! 😛

Well, All this is in the past, and now i need to live the present in order to survive the future. ^.^

Ciao,

A-m-e-l-i-e

When i drove…

When i was driving today at 11:41 a.m to the Department Land of Transport, i felt uneasy with my sister sitting along my side.  It was my first time to be going there along, with no one that knows how to go accept my instinct.  I kept on reminding myself that my sister has only me to rely on for unknown roads.   As i was driving, I realized that i take other peoples comments too seriously.  I have to remember that negative taught can be a good thing to make it a positive taught.  I think… But it gets me down all the time.  For instance, i know that i am disabled and i can’t see my left side eye too well.  My sister is the only one that is scared being with me in the car.  She thinks that i can’t judge and/or see on my left side eye.  Yes its true, but so far…did i had any accident? No.  My mother thinks that my sister is being too serious and that she is worries a lot about life.  It scares me too just to see her being like that.

  We got fined by 300 B because of the Road Tax was expired long time ago! -.-” yeah yeah..don’t blame it on me!  My sister has all the files sooooo…..blame it on her! 😛 

  Anyways, i have nothing much to say at the moment.  Just being lazy and the holiday is almost over…sniff sniff…sad…i know.

Adieu

“CrAzYnEsS”

Coolio- Gangster’s Paradise

I just love this song sooo much! Comes in Dangerous Mind.  Enjoy

Holiday Time…

Hey all,

Yes i am terribly sorry about not writting in my blog for almost three months now!  Yes…i am to be blamed…maybe around…30% BUT…the rest is the University.  They keep us in these classes for four hours which is alot!   I sometime less completely ’cause its just too boring and rather be doing something else then listening! And i sometime skip classes, for a good reason.  The teachers just talk and sometimes don’t have much to say or its just for a two hours lesson.  Because i live outside of Bangkok, its a lot to spend petrol + toll way.  Its a lot in a day to be spending just to be going to town and back out of town.  The traffic…i can’t even express how bad it is.  Its so hard to put it in words, but only one word can describe…CHAOS! There…thats already 70% of my story just by saying “CHAOS” 😀

So, to start my journey today, i woke up around 8.00 a.m in which i HATE so much!  But i had too though…’cause i am on holiday…yes.  Believe it or not..i am actually on holiday…BUT…not for long. Yes…sadly i won’t be writing once again that much!Anyways, to get back on the road, i help my mom with the breakfast stuff for my father (Oh and yes…they have come back from Indonesia and are happy to be back in their original home! 😀 They just came back fro my sister operation that she needed.  She was in the hospital for 7 days = one week!) Because nowadays, my father can’t do much because of his asthma + diabetic problem!  So its twice the work for me and my mother.  And because my sister recently got out of the hospital, she can’t do much…so yeah…another disability person!  Anyways, today when to “The House” RCA place.  On the way there, we got stopped, and got fined 300B because the Road Tax has expired on the 3rd of September and now we are…err…22nd.  But c’mon…its all in bloody thai…there is this number 3 and i have no clue what is the next one!! Anyways, its not much 300 B, as in Europe, it could be around 3,000B or more.  Anyways, when we arrived, I got a little lost to find this RCA (Royal Center Avenue) and finally got it! :D…but wait…the journey isn’t ending here!  The movie was at 4 oclock instead of 2.  So we watched another movie called “Spider Lillies”.  Its was an ok movie.  Not highly recommended, but its fine.  And the second movie was “2 Days in Paris” which was Hilarious!!!!  Absolutely Hilarious! I highly recommend to Ameircans and French people to watch this.  I just laught at this sooooo much that i i coudln’t even breath anymore! :D…it was a fantastic movie!

So we arrived at home around 6:15pm…no traffic on the road during that time 🙂 Well, i better head off to bed now!

Cheers,

Picasso

The largest tenor in the world, Luciano Pavarotti, died

ROME (AFP) – the large Italian tenor Luciano Pavarotti died at the 71 years age Friday to 03H00 GMT, in his villa in Modena, according to public television SPOKE. Wednesday evening, the Italian media had made state of an abrupt aggravation of the health of Pavarotti, had operated in July 2006 of a cancer of the pancreas and had hospitalized at the beginning of August. The agency ACTED had affirmed that its state was “extremely serious”. The news of its death was quickly spread in Modena, and organizes it and the police officers established a cord of safety around its residence to channel the inhabitants who would like to return hommageSelon to him the Ansa agency, a vehicle of the undertaking is already in front of its residence. Luciano Pavarotti had been hospitalized on August 8 in Modena for a “feverish state” and it left on August there 25 only to continue its convalescence at his place. An operation of the back, at the beginning of 2006, then pancreas a few months later, had constrained the tenor to give up a great round of good-byes in 40 concerts in the whole world, which it had started in May 2004. Since, the large tenor had not appeared any more in public. Little time after the last intervention, Pavarotti had expressed in the press the wish to begin again, at the beginning of 2007, its round of good-bye, but will never have succeeded in concretizing this wish. The beginning of the summer, during a musical ceremony in the honor of the tenor on the island of Ischia close to Naples (southern), his wife had ensured that her husband smelled himself well and prepared a disc. “One can never nothing say with this disease, but I think that Luciano will be left there, it is well. It completes the fifth cycle of chemotherapy, it did not lose a hair and especially it did not lose “, she had declared. This day, July 10, the artist had telephoned in the evening with the organizers of the ceremony and after having spoken with the personalities present, it had concluded with “Goodbye with all, I am preparing another disc Pavarotti & Friends”. Wednesday in the morning, Luciano Pavarotti had expressed, in an official statement quoted by the agency Ansa, its “emotion” following the creation of a price of the cultural “excellence” in Italy which it was the first to be received. “I incline myself, full with emotion and gratitude, in front of the price which had been just allotted, because it gives me the advisability of continuing to celebrate the magic of a life passed to the service of art”, had it says. Born on October 12, 1935 in Modena (northern of Italy), Luciano which intended teaching, had chosen definitively the song in 1961. It knew popularized its art in stages roofs in trio with its accomplices Placido Domingo and Carreras and will have sold traditional million discs. In love with the thorough-bred, the fresh pastes and the good wines, this giant of 1,90m (for a variable weight from 85 to 130 kg), also called “Big Luciano”, was father of four girls and grandfather. He handled the irony with as much ease than he modulated his voice. “I feel lighter in the heart, and not only”, it had declared with the press after having signed a cheque of 25 billion liras to put a term at its troubles with the tax department. It had been remarié in December 2003 with its ex-collaborator Nicoletta Mantovani, of more than 30 years its junior, with whom it had a small girl.

Million voices – Wyclef Jean

  The music video of “Hotel Rwanda”.

 

 

 

 

LYRICS 

Wyclef Jean – Million Voices

African Chorus throughout song:
———————————–
Ni ryari izuba, Rizagaruka, Hejuru yacu,
Ni nd’ uzaricyeza ricyeza.

[When will the sun return above us?]
[Who will reveal it once again to us?]
———————————–

Rwanda, Rwanda,
Yeah Rwanda, Rwanda.

They said: “Many are called and few are chosen,”
But I wish some wasn’t chosen
for the blood spilling of Rwanda.

They said: “Meshach, Shadrack and Abednego,
Thrown in the fire but you never get burned,”
but I wish that I didn’t get burned in Rwanda.

They said: “The man is judged according to his works,”
so tell me Africa, what’s your worth?

There’s no money, no diamonds, no fortunes
on this planet that can replace Rwanda…

Rwanda Rwanda

Yeah, Rwanda Rwanda

These are the cry of the children

Rwanda Rwanda

Anybody hear my cry?

If America, is the United States of America,
Then why can’t Africa, be the United States of Africa?

And if England, is the United Kingdom,
Then why can’t Africa unite all the kingdoms
and become United Kingdom of Africa?

Rwanda Rwanda, Rwanda Rwanda
Yeah, yeah.

These are the cries of the children, yeah.

Can anybody out there hear our cries?

Yeah, heavens cry … Jesus cry.

Lord, did you hear us calling you?
Yeah, Rwanda Rwanda,

Lord, did you hear us calling?
Can you do something in Rwanda?

Rwanda Rwanda, Rwanda Rwanda

I’m talkin’ ’bout Jesus; talkin’ ’bout
Rwanda Rwanda Rwanda

Talkin’ ’bout … talk’n ’bout …
Talkin’ ’bout … talk’n ’bout …

I wanna play my guitar for Rwanda….

Hilarious movie – Triller

1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice! This is not the final routine, and definitely not a punishment! just a teaser.  Enjoy (I just can’t stop laughing at this!)

 

 

YOUTUBE IS BACK ON!!!!!

EVERYONE WHO IS IN THAILAND….YOU-TUBE IS BACK ON!!!!!! 🙂 enjoy!!!!!!

Puff Daddy – Last Night

 

 

P.Diddy ft. Keyshia Cole. Enjoy!

 

Raining

Right now its raining like hell…i guess mother nature is mad at us of what we are doing to her creative of nature!  i see lightning approaching the Univesity.  The university is pretty high on a building so we can see the whole landscape of Bangkok.  Whenever a lightning stuck, that is a bright one, a thunder screams for it!  I can hardly see out there.  Its all foggy and the rain is very hard..so is the wind!  It looks like its already 7:00pm when its only 1:07pm! hahaha.  But i am enjoying watching this.  If only i had my new camera NOW, then i would be catching the whole action and able to show you guys! ^.^

Anyways, freezing my butt here, going to have me lunch and going to wait for my sister until 7:30pm.

Updates:

Pictures in Flickr

Pictures in Deviantart

Pictures SkyRock

Ciao